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Well, I am sure you can tell that I haven't really been keeping this blog up...sorry.  But please come join me at Embracing Life, Love & Art where I have been and WILL continue to keep up the blog.  I am rolling Project Sending Love into that blog as well...see you over there! 

Stating the Obvious

I told Eric thank-you for lunch today.  I then asked him if he wanted me to thank him for lunch more often because let’s face it – he is the one who pays for it! He said he didn’t need to hear it more often but it was nice to hear. 

That made me think – how often do we not say something to someone because we assume it is known?

 Having Eric tell me today that it was nice to hear made me realize that sometimes it is best to state the obvious – to actually tell others what we think and feel of them even if we know they know already it.

All this can easily be tied back Project Sending Love.  It is nice to hear what we already know – that our spouse loves us, that our friends think we are wonderful, that our sister admires us, that we are special to our parents - it is always nice to hear these little tid bits that make us so special to others.

Thoughts from Marci:

“I went through my address book and picked out the people I wanted to send postcards to. Then I realized I was going to be far short on my 30 people so I started going through the address book again. I could feel my heart harden at the thought of sending certain people postcards. Isn't that ridiculous? I have these people in my address book (the real one not computer/online). Here is the proof that they have been special to me at one point in my adult life and yet, why was I being so stingy with my love? I still don't have the answers for some people but for some others, I realized that I was holding onto some hurt feelings. I wrote the postcards even though I didn't want to and I had second thoughts about what I wrote on several of the postcards. The postcards were on the counter, stamped and ready to go. And still, I hesitated, but I didn't change any of the postcards. And then, my husband took them to the post office while I was out with the kids. So, my love or mostly good thoughts are on their way out into the world. And I wait and wonder what their effect will be on those who receive them.

30 is a hard number..... I think this is a great challenge because it forced me out of my comfort zone and into some emotionally dangerous territory. I feel good about not playing it safe and am excited to send out my last batch next week. Thank you for letting take part in this awesome experience!”

I think what Marci talks about here is true courage and true letting go. I know this took her a lot to let these feelings go and write these a few of these postcards.  For her to experience that and know that she was holding on to hurt feelings and doing the postcards anyway is huge - is something I want everyone to experience with Project Sending Love.  Too many of us hold on to hurt feelings but if we step away from that one incident that caused the hurt feelings and look at the person with love and understanding and write those feeling to them - this is the true essence of this project.

Love,
Renee

“Love is one of the hardest words to say and one of the easiest to hear”

I have boxes and boxes of cards that have been sent/given to me over the years – birthday, thank-you, just because, cancer, etc. As much as I love to receive these cards and read the heartfelt message written inside, I love even more going back years later and rereading them.  They always take me to a special place in my heart full of memories and love – it usually ends with me sitting and reading the whole box of cards and crying at some point through the box…I can’t help it.

I know it is hard to tell someone that you love them, that they are special, that they are a precious gift from God, that they make the world a better place out of the blue – I know it is hard to take that leap of faith and listen to your heart and just do it – honestly, I know. I feel sometimes when I send out cards that people are going to think I am officially crazy and chemo has gotten the best of me – especially when I don’t talk to them on a regular basis – I know it is hard.  But I try to go back to that place in my heart and remember how much I love hearing/reading these words and know in my heart that the people I am sending my cards to will love it just as much as me. 

If we could all just remember how much we love to hear/read special words told/written to us and how even if we received a postcard out of the blue from an unexpected someone that we wouldn’t think this person was odd for sending it, we would say a thank you in our hearts.

Love, sweet love...

Week 2 thoughts from Sara:

“The experience has been a great one from my end, I’ve enjoyed confronting the challenges of sending my love. I feel like I’ve already learned a lot about letting go of my hesitancies and gotten through some of my fears of so openly expressing my emotions. I’ve never considered myself shy or one to withhold my feelings, but this experience has really opened my eyes to how much I really do keep inside; it’s really surprised me!

Another surprise is that I’ve only heard from one person that I’ve sent to – it actually has me wondering if the others received their cards? I’m not doing this for recognition, but I did expect some type of acknowledgement that they received it…

The one person I heard from left me a voicemail saying that it made her “weepy” and was “exactly what I needed in a time when I needed it the most” – to hear that made my heart feel full and as soon as I received that voicemail I sat down and wrote two more cards. It was such a satisfying feeling knowing I brought joy to someone in their time of need.”

It is funny – I am seeing a pattern in us with this project.  When I sent out cards before this project started and didn’t hear back from someone I also wondered if they actually received my card.  There is a part of us that wants that love returned to us so badly, or at least acknowledgement that we sent our love.  Then little changes start to happen in our hearts and we become ok that we don’t hear back from people, but when we do – it is pure joy – it makes our hearts sing to know we really helped someone feel love just from a simple note we wrote them.

It is crazy how sending your love, expressing yourself with the knowing that you might not get the love back will change you at your core and all for the better.  It is kind of like doing an act of kindness in secret – they don’t have a chance to say thank you right then and there – doing thing like this will grow your heart with more love and kindness...and what the world needs now is love, sweet love.

Learning to give out love...

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and let it come in.” ~Morrie Schwartz

Learning to give out love is has been one of the hardest lessons in my life…it seems SO easy but yet it is scary to give out love – what if who you are giving your love to doesn’t give it back or worse, what if they don’t want your love?

It has taken me 33 years to learn this, but getting love back isn’t the point of giving out your love.  The point of giving out your love isn’t to have people tell you thank you, or to have them give it back – when they do that is icing on the cake.  But the point of giving out your love has to be a selfless act.  You can’t expect them to return – you can only give it with an open and loving heart.

That is a big reason I created these postcards.  For me, writing down my love is MUCH easier than telling people in person.  I have time to gather my thoughts, feelings, emotions, etc and write them down verses trying to tell them in person and stumbling all over my words then leave feeling like a complete failure for messing up what I just tried to say to them…yes, I am still learning to give selfless love and acceptance to myself as well – that one might take me another few years. J

So try it, try to send out selfless love to people in your life without expecting anything back for them – it is my hope that all of us doing this will change us - will make it easier to love more openly to all people in our lives – even those we don’t actually know but just encounter.

“The honorary duty of a human being is to love” ~ Maya Angelou

Here is another email I received from one of the participants doing this project with me.

Sending Love – Day 1.

When Renee came out with this idea, I jumped at the chance to participate. I’m always looking for ways to stay in touch with my friends and family, and always feel like I never tell people how much I appreciate them and what they do for me. The words “I love you” have always been difficult for me to say to anyone but my husband, and even just starting the project has really helped me understand why.

Day 1 was by far the hardest day for me. I didn’t go into the project with any kind of plan, other than to send them out to people as I thought of them. The first people coming to mind? My parents. Of course, I love them, so why was this so hard?

Day 1 was so hard for me, I had the postcard sitting on my desk for a full day before I actually wrote it. It took me a really long time just to figure out how to send three simple words to the two people who have been there from the very beginning. Why? Well, because we just don’t say those words to each other! I think I’ve seen or heard my parents say the words “I love you” a total of four times in my entire life. When I graduated high school (in a card), when I graduated college (in a card), the first time I got married (in a speech), and once after I got divorced (on the phone! Directly!), I heard it. I mean, its assumed, and I know it.. but that doesn’t change that its really hard to say. We don’t really hug each other or show affection either, and when it comes down to it – I get frustrated with my parents very easily. My husband is convinced that it has to do with me never hearing those three little words from them, though I think it’s more about growing up in an overly strict household that I felt really stifled in. It really took a lot of effort for me to write it out to them, even though I know in my heart that I do love them. Well, my husband is probably right, and it’s also why I’m so darn awkward in situations where friends get all lovey on me. I’m just not used to it.

I considered not sending the “I love you” card and sending the “Good Deeds” card.. but decided that it would be a cop out. I can’t cop out on Day 1! That would be failure! So I tried to just mention the elephant in the room and keep it simply by saying, “Dear Mom and Dad, I know I don’t say it often, but I love you. Thank you for being there for me through all of the ups and downs, and through all of my mistakes and triumphs.”

I decided a long time ago that the only thing I could do to fix it is to not be the same way with my children. With that in mind, it felt strange sending it off in the mail. I kind of await an awkward phone call from my mom about it.. but who knows, maybe she’ll surprise me.

I love her honesty – this isn’t easy to do this.  People might think we are weird for telling them out of the blue that we love them, or they are important to us – to the world, or thank you for them being them. 

I have slowly started getting over caring if people think I am weird for doing something my heart tells me to do.  I sometimes catch myself not doing something because of this, then I take a deep breath and do it anyway – weird or not!